Gentlmen, ladies.

From a couple of the offhand comments I've seen made here from time to time, it seems there's an undercurrent of people thinking that we, or I, have somehow become a thread nazi.

Firstly, it just isn't so. Check my profile and view all my posts and see just how many times we've actually even had to moderate here - and by here I mean here on the Delaware board. I realize that, in some folks eyes, enforcing a code of conduct is akin to censorship. I just want point out that we don't mind healthy debate...as long as its not the poison kind.

With a speedway message board, there are three sides. On one side, you have the Speedway itself and its staff. Then there's the drivers and their crews. Then there's the fans. And the board is meant as a place where all three can intermingle. The bottom line, and the reason this board exists, is to share, acknowledge one another, and infect one another with the joy of racing, no matter what the poster's involvement.

When there's strife, it all breaks down. Track management cannot involve itself in the squabbling, lest it make the track look bad and affect their bottom line. Remember that these are guys that are actually making their livelihood here - and while we don't always have to agree, they DO need to be treated fairly here too. The fans turn off, because the negativity drags their joy down...they're only here for the fun of it. And the drivers and crews end up left feeling like they're not allowed to say what they want to say and be heard, even though its their blood sweat and tears that are sustaining the other two sides. And the moderators buckle down and hope, please oh please, that they have the fortitude and wisdom to balance it all and be fair to all three sides. And when one side feels they are being treated unfairly, it hurts.

I started doing my Shadow Reports on a whim. I was thrilled beyond thrilled, that the drivers and fans - especially the drivers, responded so favorably to them that I just had to keep doing them. Drivers, you're my heroes...I'll shout it from the rooftops...and the ONLY reason I still do those reports, is that you deserve the coverage. You deserve to have your hard work recognized.

Now, Jeff and John have been very supportive of what I do here, and have been kind enough to basically let me have the run of the speedway so I can better do what I do. Its been probably the most fun I've had in my entire life...so you can imagine I'm somewhat beholden on a personal level to them too.

So when the stuff hits the fan on the boards, it certainly does put me between a rock and a hard place. And its a place I don't want to be.

I really don't recall how the hell I ended up moderating here. I thought I might be able to have a positive influence here and try to make it a fun place to hang out, and I think, as a group we've succeeded handsomely.

But frankly, I'm here for the racing, and for the race reports. My fear is twofold: A) That my inability to moderate well here might take me out of management's good graces, even though it wasn't my moderating that got me there in the first place, and B) that my inability to moderate well might take me out of the driver's and crew's good graces because they didn't like something that I had to edit or whatever.

I support my speedway. It has been my Fri night playground for the 40 years I have been on this earth, and I wouldn't trade my involvement, whether that be writing reports, wearing an orange wig on the front straightaway, or simply helping to print and fold the programs up on Friday afternoon.

I support my drivers. You're the ones I come to see and write reports about. The guys who I'm hanging my breath on, every lap. Guys who cause my heart to freeze when someone crashes hard. As I've gotten older I've begun to think of you all as "my boys" (and girls)

I support the fans. I sit in Richmond row, but I always make the rounds to go see DB1 just to make "old" jokes to him. Or to go over and see Jan and Vicky (can you imagine how thrilled I was to meet the original Hoppy's daughter?) Or to see Big Al in the center section, and to make sure, even though I'm not wearing the red nose anymore, that the kids around Richmond Row still get to fire a rocket balloon off every once in a while.

I love everything to do with being involved at the speedway, yet I fear that because  moderating here is also my job, that I'm going to lose the confidence of at least two of those sides everytime I make a mod decision. And that just sucks.

I'm going to think on this, because really, moderating here was never in my "job description" within the Delaware Speedway community, yet here I am. And the inability to make everyone happy is making this a really sucky job.

I don't want to moderate here any more really. But I don't want it to turn into a free for all either.

I just don't know what to do.

Help me out, someone?